Many of us have once thought about the measure of acceptable frankness. Or how can you be frank with your loved one? Psychologists have a special test for this: “Imagine that your whole life, from the beginning to the present day, has been filmed. Are you ready to show this film to your loved one?”
Of course, you don’t need to lie to a loved one and hide some facts that will come out sooner or later. But you still need to keep some kind of personal space, closed even for the closest person.
Many in life have had mistakes, awkward moments, sins of youth. And now it’s a different life. So is it worth stirring up what has already gone? However, why is your wife talking about ex lovers?
If a woman talks about her exes, it can be simply a desire to attract attention. Ladies of the hysterical type are dependent on attention. If not, they may even get sick. But if your wife’s past is killing you, you are not alone. Just head over to the Retroactive Jealousy website to learn about helpful steps you can take right now.
If, before marriage, a woman has led an active personal life, and then began to share details with her husband, then her behavior leads to trouble. If a woman needs a strong family and wants her husband to consider her the best in the world, then she should not boast about her experience of relationships, especially sexual ones. It is more important to take care of a loved one, not to load him with unnecessary information.
In matters of frankness with a loved one, there are two opposite approaches. One of them is to tell everything to a loved one under the motto: “there can be no secrets between us.” The second approach is to share selectively. In this case, it is not necessary to be completely frank, as this can be fraught with unpleasant consequences for the family.
So, the other reason that your wife is talking about exes is the desire to cause jealousy. Sometimes a woman imagines that she had lovers in order to get a man’s attention back at least for a minute. The consequences, again, can be tragic.
Sometimes a woman tries to compare you with her ex lovers and it doesn’t matter if the comparison is in your favor or not. This is just tactlessness and evidence that she does not value you!
She hardly loves you very much, since she remembers her exes in your presence, and she certainly does not love you if she compares you with him not in your favor.
A woman is tactless not only in relation to you but also in relation to the man about whom she tells you. A lover is not a husband. And he did not officially announce their connection to society. By revealing the name of her lover, a woman is providing a third party with confidential information that her ex may not want to advertise. Although it may happen that the trauma inflicted by a man is so strong that a woman simply can’t restrain her emotions. It is necessary to look at what emotional state a woman is in: if she coolly surrenders her ex lover, then she is calculating and tactless, but if with tears in her eyes she shares a strong emotional pain with you and even asks not to tell anyone, then it may just be a breakdown after difficult experiences. For example, from the experienced betrayal, which she tells you about. Give her care and attention, help her solve her problems, and she will be grateful and loyal to you.
Also, a woman can talk about her exes hinting at what you should and shouldn’t do. They begin to talk about what they liked and disliked about their ex, either intentionally or unconsciously. It turns out a kind of collective image.
So, sincerity in a relationship and laying out all the ins and outs are not the same thing. Before you say something, think about whether your loved one needs it or not. Let delicacy, tact and respect for personal boundaries be your assistants in this decision.