The bond of marriage is a unique one because this is a relationship built by humans themselves. It is not what we are born with or handed to us by birth. However, with time there comes a point when two people in a marriage decide to part ways and call it the end of their union. Over the years in recent past the number of divorce cases have gone up which does not augur well for society in general.
Reasons For A Divorce
What happens in a marriage never gets told to the outside world? Hence there is no clear way of knowing what led a marriage to a point of divorce but conjecture can tell us a few.
- Lack of friendship
- Lack of physical and emotional intimacy
- Different goals
- Lack of understanding
- Lack of empathy for each other
- Lack of trust
- Infidelity and extra marital affairs
The Effects Of A Divorce
In the words of Jonah Engler, there are several repercussions of a divorce that takes a toll on the emotional and financial life of individuals. However, there is one aspect of life that suffers the most out of a divorce between two adult people – their children. Children are often forced to choose sides between their parents and usually have to stay with one parent and see the other parent occasionally.
How Does Your Divorce Affect Your Child?
- Children find it difficult to cope with the loss of living with both parents under the same roof
- Usually custody goes to the mother for small children when they miss their fathers the most
- Growing up years especially among adolescents can be difficult with one parent around
- Children can become introverted and withdraw from social interactions
- They feel embarrassed or incapacitated among peers and friends from regular families
- Tendency to develop hateful feelings towards parents can be very common
- Lack of attention to studies and activities is observed
- Some children resort to violence and can become bullies at school or with friends and juniors as a way of venting out pent up emotions and aggression
- Performance in studies, activities and overall interests often go down
- They lose a great deal of ability to socialize and make new friends
- General resentment and negativity is very common behavioral trait among these children
How Can Both Parents Make A Difference
Jonah Engler says that happiness is the key to survival in today’s world especially in the life of a growing child. Parents should focus on raising a happy child more than anything else. They can work on their marriage and make it work as well as make themselves happy. There are ways to work things out instead of taking an easy way out with a divorce; especially with children in your life that could have adverse effects on everybody involved.
Tips From Jonah Engler For A Happier Marriage
- No relationship is ever perfect so expectation of perfect is a fallacy. One can expect it but not get it in the end. It is safe to expect realistically and not something that is unattainable.
- Building a strong bond is vital. Keeping up the communication level with your spouse can be a great way to dealing with things. It helps to clear doubts and remove suspicions which can ruin both the marriage and the relationship.
- Spending quality time with each other and with the children is a great way to maintain harmony and positivity at home. It is a great way to unwind and build a bond of togetherness with your spouse and your children.
- Sometimes when two partners in a marriage are working there are two separate work lives and a lack of interest in each other’s work creates distance. Its important not to let that happen. Talking to each other about their work and sharing the stress and difficulties the other may be facing at home is a great way to build a friendship. Being able to talk to one another on all issues is very important.
- If your wife is an at home mother or a homemaker you need to appreciate her contributions to the family more than occasionally; she holds the whole place together and needs more recognition for her round the clock work routine both from her husband and her children.
- According to CTN News, It is important to recognize and maintain the home as a converging point for the family members from all the roads of your own separate goals. At the end of the day everyone comes home to a family and smiles at each other – it helps to develop the family feeling.
Elements Of Surprise
Everyone loves surprises and married people are no exception. Remembering a special day in the life of your spouse and planning a surprise for them will go a long way to creating special memories and making a marriage stronger.
Importance Of Activities Together
Weekend travels, planned road trips and excursions and even daily activities like yoga and meditation can work wonders for a marriage. Besides giving you more quality time with each other, this is also a means of finding greater understanding of each other’s needs and desires. Long work hours and endless meetings often keep you away from your spouse and children and that can create distance over time. but with short plans like these much of that lost time can be adjusted positively.
Are Unavoidable Divorces Better for Your Children
This is an uncomfortable question but sometimes necessary. Even unintentionally distance between two people in a marriage can cause a lot of friction; incidents of quarreling and arguing in front of your children is not a good example. In such cases of irrevocable differences divorce may be a solution.
Can Divorced Couples Raise Happy Kids?
Divorced parents once out of their personal conflicts with each other can focus better on the lives of their children. If they commit to their responsibilities for the children who belong to both of them, they can always come together and understand the need to be there for their children when they need them.
- Always attend their annual functions at school together
- Build their trust in parents by talking to them more often
- Building better communication for greater interactions
- Showing them care and stability even while staying apart
Marriage Children And Divorces
There is a need to understand the need of marital stability for a bigger goal of stability in the lives of children as well. However, things do not always go as planned and the untoward incidents become the reality. If parents are committed to the welfare of their children they can still ensure their children are happy and confident that both parents will stand together for them when needed even as they live separate lives.