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Let’s get one thing straight: dating can feel terrifying. Whether it’s social anxiety, fear of judgment, or the pressure of making a good impression, dating anxiety is real. These feelings can be intensified due to past experiences and personal insecurities.
Fortunately, there are several ways to overcome dating anxiety and enjoy the experience of meeting new people. Here’s what you can do:
Be Kind to Yourself
When you’re overthinking every word, gesture, and reaction you exhibit on a date, you experience a spiral of anxiety that is hard to escape. Moreover, negative self-talk before going on a date or imagining the worst-case scenario can exacerbate the symptoms of dating anxiety.
The need to make a good impression is understandable, but remember, no one is perfect. Acknowledge that you’re feeling anxious and know that there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Show yourself the same compassion you would offer a friend in a similar situation.
Here’s a comforting thought: There’s a high chance that the person you’re interested in is just as anxious as you. So, be kind to yourself and share your feelings with your prospective partner as much as possible.
Create a Pre-Date Ritual
One of the best ways to soothe your nerves before going on a big date is to follow a pre-date ritual. This can include:
Meditation: Even a few minutes of mindful meditation can balance your stress levels and calm those pre-date jitters. It will also help you understand your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations.
Deep breathing: Dating anxiety can trigger your “fight or flight” response. Before leaving the house, spend a few minutes on deep breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a couple of seconds, and exhale through your mouth.
Grounding techniques: They can help you connect with your surroundings and senses, therefore pulling you away from negative and distressing thoughts.
You can also give yourself a pep talk or listen to your favourite music. The goal is to boost your confidence and ease anxiety.
Set Realistic Expectations
Here’s a truth bomb: Not every date can be smooth, romantic, and picture-perfect. When you put too much pressure on yourself or your date, anxiety takes over logical thinking. This is why it’s important to shift your mindset.
For instance, if you’re headed to a speed dating event, keep an open mind. Practice active listening and see if you have any mutual interests with the person in front of you.
Instead of finding a soulmate, focus on having a wholesome conversation and learning something new. By setting realistic expectations, you will give yourself some grace and breathing room.
Ask for Help
Remember that you don’t have to overcome dating anxiety alone. Reach out to friends or family members and discuss what triggers your anxiety. Sometimes, chatting with a trusted friend is all you need to get rid of pre-date jitters and experience reassurance.
If your anxiety feels persistent, seek professional help. A dedicated therapist will share strategies and tools tailored to your specific needs, so you can effectively manage dating anxiety.